~~ Regan's World ~~

It’s Friiiiday.
Exam results are out.
I’ve finished Uni.
And I’m unemployed.  Well, kinda.
Part-time unemployed.  Part-time do-whatever-the-fuck-I-please.  Which is really ‘whatever-the-fuck I can afford’, being part-time unemployed and all…

 
It’s time to move on from Uni though.  I feel like I’ve grown as much as I could under the circumstances of the past three years.  It was good for me.  So, so good.  I feel nothing but the utmost affection for those anger filled days where I’d want to smash stuff up and tear the world apart out of frustration.  It was those days I would grow.  It was often those days i would blog.  I thrived off that anger.  It drove me and (miraculously) was channeled in the right directions... some how.  The number of nights I would sit right here and listen to Placebo; going around and around in my own head, anger and hatred towards people and the world.  Because of what I wasn’t.  Because of what I wanted to be.  Because of what I didn’t understand about life.

Because Kerry got Katy;
Because Tom got Kristy;
Because Mel didn't remember;
Because I was second best.  And I couldn’t understand why.

Where I stand today is a testament to my anger.  Pure and simple.  As HollyMarie said: “Second is good.  It fires up the competitive side in you, and inspires you to reach your fullest potential.”  

I may not seem much different, but I feel it.  There’s still lots to work on.  But I won’t find that at uni.  I need a mentor now.

Is it all normal?  Is it just… growing up?  I’d hate to think I was normal.  Fuck that.

 
What happens now is anyone’s guess…

What happens now?

Life?

 
--Regan

And yeah, I used the wrong ‘oh’ on the last entry.  My bad.

Lectures were sooo crap today.  Stupid lecturers and stupid people in my class asking stupid questions.  What a waste of a day.  I left my last lecture at 5pm in such a bad mood, loathing almost everyone in that room. 

 
Bloody mature students should keep their damn mouths shut.  They think they’re soo fucking cool just because they’re old.  They think they ask smart questions that make them sound intelligent.  They think they’re better than me because they have “experience”. 

They’re not clever, they’re not cool, and their questions are irrelevant and disruptive to my learning.  Stop monopolizing the lecturer’s god-damn time.  You’ve had the last 40-years to learn this shit, now give the rest of us a chance.

 
And don’t insult me by pretending you’re smart.  You’re like 40-years old and you’re studying at Massey… you’ve clearly made nothing of your life and are now trying to make up for it.  I, nor anyone else in the class, has any respect for you or your “worldly experience”.  Sit down, Shut up, and read the god-damn text book.

 
Ughhh!!!  They piss me off so-much.

I went home and fell-asleep reading “Money, Risk and Greed” which sounds more exciting then it is.  But it’s interesting so I keep pushing on.  I should have done my assignment, but I was tired.

 
It was beautiful and rainy all day today.  I should have just stayed home and read.  Taken a rain-day.  Sometimes the lectures are worth-while, but today they were a waste of time and petrol.  Besides, rain days are good for the soul.  Especially when there’s a storm outside. 

-Regan

Mood – Could it be… contentment??
Listening to – Music.  Loud.
Eating – Nothing.  Hungry though…
Drinking – Warta
Reading – Money, Greed and Risk – Charles R Morris.

Amazingly, I seem to be on schedule for my study by some miracle, so thought I’d sit and muse for a bit.  There’s lots to think about. 

 
My 21^st was pretty cool.  Shame Brenton couldn’t make it.  I was gutted actually because he’s been a good friend to me, and it’s hard not to take it personally that he chose not to come.  I’m not going to comment on the fact I think Liz is a self-involved bitch…

 
Man, relationships can be really fucked up.  It’s not something I want to try and give advice on.  All I know is that if you don’t have trust, you’re fucked from day one, and trust is part track-record, and part blind faith.  It doesn’t come easy.  Whatever. 

 
It’s getting cold.  I hope it snows soon.  I think it’d be sad if there’s not one final snow-trip this year.  Even a short one.  It’s probably the last chance we’ll get before we are released into the world with our gay little bits of paper and our big aspirations.  I’m predicting WWIII next year too, so that counts Jason out. 

 
I think it’d be cool.  I’ve come to idolize our snow-trips.  In the US they have their huge spring-breaks with the drinking and the beach and the parties, we have Snow-Trip.  Despite my disappointment last year, I’m so fond of that hut and the memories it holds.  The drinking, the boarding the stories…  Every legacy has its bad times, but that only gives something to improve off.

 
Even if we go back to basics; just something short, sweet, and smaller maybe.  One last blast.  What say you Mark??  I’ll help organise. 

Snow-Trip is sacred.

-Regan

No news is good news...

Meanwhile, I was going to up date my “links” list, over on the right there, (again), but I can’t be assed, so I’ll just dump them here… (no, none of them are porn, sorry Fezz).  Since uni’s been back I’ve developed a strange fondness/obesssion for web-comics.  They help me escape from the shit that I should be doing and laugh for a few seconds.  Procrastination is awesome: 

 
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

Captain Excelsior

 
Stay tuned!

 
--Regan