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July 05
It’s Friiiiday. Exam results are out. I’ve finished Uni. And I’m unemployed. Well, kinda. Part-time unemployed. Part-time do-whatever-the-fuck-I-please. Which is really ‘whatever-the-fuck I can
afford’, being part-time unemployed and all…
It’s time to move on from Uni
though. I feel like I’ve grown as much
as I could under the circumstances of the past three years. It was good for me. So, so good.
I feel nothing but the utmost affection for those anger filled days where I’d want
to smash stuff up and tear the world apart out of frustration. It was those days I would grow. It was often those days i would blog. I thrived off that anger. It drove me and (miraculously) was channeled in the right directions...
some how. The number of nights I would
sit right here and listen to Placebo; going around and around in my own head,
anger and hatred towards people and the world. Because of what I wasn’t. Because of what I wanted to be. Because of what I didn’t understand about
life.
Because Kerry got Katy; Because Tom got Kristy; Because Mel didn't remember; Because I was second best. And I couldn’t understand why.
Where I stand today is a testament to
my anger. Pure and simple. As HollyMarie said: “Second
is good. It fires up the competitive
side in you, and inspires you to reach your fullest potential.”
I may not seem much different, but I
feel it. There’s still lots to work
on. But I won’t find that at uni. I need a mentor now.
Is it all normal? Is it just… growing up? I’d hate to think I was normal. Fuck that.
What happens now is anyone’s guess…
What happens now?
Life?
--Regan
And yeah, I used the wrong ‘oh’
on the last entry. My bad.
June 18 Ow!
well, well, well - look who's updating...
April 15
Lectures were sooo crap today. Stupid lecturers and stupid people in my class
asking stupid questions. What a waste of
a day. I left my last lecture at 5pm in such a bad mood, loathing almost
everyone in that room.
Bloody mature students should keep
their damn mouths shut. They think they’re
soo fucking cool just because they’re old.
They think they ask smart questions that make them sound intelligent. They think they’re better than me because
they have “experience”.
They’re not clever, they’re not
cool, and their questions are irrelevant and disruptive to my learning. Stop monopolizing the lecturer’s god-damn
time. You’ve had the last 40-years to
learn this shit, now give the rest of us a chance.
And don’t insult me by pretending
you’re smart. You’re like 40-years old
and you’re studying at Massey… you’ve clearly made nothing of your life
and are now trying to make up for it. I,
nor anyone else in the class, has any respect for you or your “worldly
experience”. Sit down, Shut up, and read
the god-damn text book.
Ughhh!!! They piss me off so-much.
I went home and fell-asleep reading
“Money, Risk and Greed” which sounds more exciting then it is. But it’s interesting so I keep pushing on. I should have done my assignment, but I was
tired.
It was beautiful and rainy all day
today. I should have just stayed home
and read. Taken a rain-day. Sometimes the lectures are worth-while, but
today they were a waste of time and petrol. Besides, rain days are good for the soul. Especially when there’s a storm outside.
-Regan
April 10
Mood – Could it be… contentment??
Listening to – Music. Loud.
Eating – Nothing. Hungry though…
Drinking – Warta
Reading – Money, Greed and Risk – Charles R Morris.
Amazingly, I seem to be on schedule
for my study by some miracle, so thought I’d sit and muse for a bit. There’s lots to think about.
My 21st was pretty cool. Shame Brenton couldn’t make it. I was gutted actually because he’s been a good
friend to me, and it’s hard not to take it personally that he chose not to
come. I’m not going to comment on the
fact I think Liz is a self-involved bitch…
Man, relationships can be really fucked
up. It’s not something I want to try and
give advice on. All I know is that if
you don’t have trust, you’re fucked from day one, and trust is part track-record,
and part blind faith. It doesn’t
come easy. Whatever.
It’s getting cold. I hope it snows soon. I think it’d be sad if there’s not one final
snow-trip this year. Even a short one. It’s probably the last chance we’ll get
before we are released into the world with our gay little bits of paper and our
big aspirations. I’m predicting WWIII
next year too, so that counts Jason out.
I think it’d be cool. I’ve come to idolize our snow-trips. In the US
they have their huge spring-breaks with the drinking and the beach and the
parties, we have Snow-Trip.
Despite my disappointment last year, I’m so fond of that hut and the
memories it holds. The drinking, the
boarding the stories… Every legacy has its
bad times, but that only gives something to improve off.
Even if we go back to basics; just something
short, sweet, and smaller maybe. One last
blast. What say you Mark?? I’ll help organise.
Snow-Trip is sacred. -Regan
March 15
No news is good news...
Meanwhile, I was going to up date
my “links” list, over on the right there, (again), but I can’t be assed, so I’ll
just dump them here… (no, none of them are porn, sorry Fezz). Since uni’s been back I’ve developed a
strange fondness/obesssion for web-comics. They help
me escape from the shit that I should be doing and laugh for a few seconds. Procrastination is awesome:
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Captain Excelsior
Stay tuned!
--Regan
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